I first got involved in amateur dramatics as a teenager, but like lots of things in life, it took a bit of a back seat as I got older. Life moves on, other things take priority, and sometimes the hobbies you loved when you were younger get left behind without you really realising it.
Then, at 31, I found my way back to it.
My first show back was Made in Dagenham with a local theatre group, and looking back, I’m so glad I took that step. I don’t think I fully appreciated at the time just how much returning to musical theatre would give me, but it’s become such an important part of my life.
Since then, I’ve had experiences that have challenged me, made me proud of myself and introduced me to a side of myself that I never want to lose.
So, I wanted to write about what doing am dram has actually done for me, because I think it’s so easy to dismiss something like this as just a hobby. And honestly, for me, it’s so much more than that.
It’s reminded me of something I loved when I was younger
There’s something quite lovely about returning to something you enjoyed as a teenager and realising that you still love it just as much, if not more.
Going back to am dram at 31 felt a little different from doing it when I was younger. You’re not the same person you were as a teenager. You’ve had more life experience, you’ve probably become a little more aware of yourself, and you might think twice before putting yourself in a situation where you have to stand up in front of a room full of people and perform.
But there’s also something freeing about it.
I wasn’t going back because I wanted to make a career out of performing or because I had anything to prove. I was doing it because I wanted to. Because I missed it. Because there was a part of me that still loved the idea of being involved in a show.
And sometimes, I think that’s reason enough.
Doing Made in Dagenham locally was the start of finding my way back into that world. It reminded me how much I’d missed being part of a production and how rewarding it can be to work towards something with a group of people who all share the same goal.
I’m really glad I gave myself the chance to do it again.
It’s given me confidence in ways I didn’t expect
I’m not going to pretend that doing musical theatre suddenly makes you a completely confident person. I still have moments of self doubt, and I don’t think that ever entirely disappears.
But there’s something about performing that pushes you to put yourself out there.
You have to be willing to make mistakes, try things that feel a bit uncomfortable and sometimes look absolutely ridiculous while you’re learning something new. You have to take direction, accept feedback and trust that you can get better with practice.
And the more you do it, the more you realise that you don’t have to get everything right straight away.
One of the things I’ve found particularly rewarding is being able to look back at something I’ve worked hard on and genuinely feel proud of myself. Not because it was perfect, but because I know how much effort went into it.
That feeling is worth a lot.
I think confidence isn’t always about suddenly becoming fearless. Sometimes it’s simply about doing something even when you’re nervous, putting the work in and realising afterwards that you were capable of more than you gave yourself credit for.
It’s taught me to be proud of the work I put in
One thing I’ve been particularly proud of is the work I put into playing Lucy the Slut in Avenue Q.
It’s a role that gave me something to get my teeth into, and I really wanted to do it justice. There’s something satisfying about having a character to work on, figuring out how you’re going to approach it and putting in the time to bring it to life.
It’s not always just about learning your lines or knowing where you need to stand. There’s the characterisation, the timing, the little details and all the things you work on in rehearsal that hopefully come together when you perform.
I think it’s easy to focus on the end result when you’re watching a show, but when you’re part of one, you know how much goes into getting there.
You know the hours you’ve spent practising, the things you’ve had to work on and the moments when something finally clicks.
Playing Lucy gave me a real sense of achievement because I knew how much effort I’d put into it. And I think that’s one of the nicest things about being involved in theatre: getting to see your own progress and feeling proud of what you’ve accomplished.
You don’t have to be a professional performer to take your role seriously or want to do it well. You can care about your performance, challenge yourself and put your heart into it simply because you love what you’re doing.
It’s given me people and experiences I wouldn’t otherwise have had
One of the best things about am dram is the people you meet along the way.
There’s something quite unique about spending weeks or months working on a show together. You see each other at rehearsals after long days, when everyone’s tired, when a scene isn’t quite working and when a dance routine seems impossible to get right.
Then, gradually, things start to come together.
You begin to share little jokes, familiar routines and those moments that probably wouldn’t make much sense to anyone who wasn’t there.
It’s a lovely feeling to be part of something where everyone is working towards the same goal. Everyone has their own part to play, and when it all comes together, you get to share in that achievement.
Of course, every group is different, and not every rehearsal is magical. Sometimes you’re tired, sometimes things are stressful and sometimes you just want to get home and put your pyjamas on. But that’s part of it, too.It’s the combination of all those ordinary moments, the hard work and the excitement of performing that makes the experience what it is.It’s lovely to have something in your life that brings you together with people you might never otherwise have met.
It’s given me something that’s just for me
As adults, it’s so easy for life to become a never ending list of things we need to do.
There’s work, family, responsibilities, housework and all the other things that seem to take up our time. Before you know it, your weeks can become very routine, and it can be difficult to find something that you do purely because you enjoy it.
For me, musical theatre gives me that.
It’s something to look forward to, something to work towards and something that sits outside the usual everyday routine.
Yes, rehearsals take up time. Yes, they can be tiring. And yes, there are probably evenings when I’d quite happily stay at home instead of heading out.
But having something that excites you and gives you a sense of purpose is so important.
I think there’s a lot to be said for having a hobby that doesn’t need to lead anywhere. It doesn’t need to make you money, improve your career prospects or turn into something bigger.
It can just be something you love.
And I think we sometimes forget that we’re allowed to do things simply because they make us happy.
It’s given me a real sense of achievement
There’s nothing quite like the feeling of getting to the end of a show and knowing you’ve played your part in making it happen.
When you’re in rehearsals, the performance can sometimes feel a long way off. You’re learning, practising, making changes and trying to remember everything you need to do. There can be moments when you wonder how on earth it’s all going to come together.
Then suddenly, you’re there.
The costumes are on, the lights are up, the audience is sitting in front of you and it’s time to do the thing you’ve spent weeks preparing for.
And when it goes well, there’s such a lovely feeling of achievement.
You know what you’ve put into it. You know the work that has happened behind the scenes, both individually and as a group, and you get to see all that effort come to life.
For me, that’s one of the most rewarding parts of musical theatre. It’s not necessarily about getting everything right or having the perfect performance. It’s about knowing you’ve given it your best and being able to look back and feel proud of what you’ve done.
Playing Lucy in Avenue Q is a good example of that for me. I know how much work I put into the role, and being able to look back on it with that sense of pride is something I’ll always value.
The post show blues are very real
Now, I can’t talk about doing musical theatre without mentioning what happens when a show finishes.
Because as wonderful as the achievement feels, there’s also a bit of a come down.
You’ve spent weeks, sometimes months, working towards these performances. Rehearsals become part of your routine, you get used to seeing the same people regularly, and everything builds towards those final few shows.
Then it’s over.
Suddenly, you don’t have rehearsals to go to. You’re not thinking about your lines or your next entrance, and the thing that’s been taking up so much of your time is no longer there.
It’s a strange feeling because you’re happy. You’re proud of what you’ve achieved, and you’re glad you’ve been part of it. But there’s also a little sadness that it’s finished.
I think that’s what makes it such a mix of emotions.
You can feel incredibly proud of yourself and still miss it at the same time. You can be pleased that you’ve reached the end and wish you could do it all over again.
And sometimes, after all the excitement and adrenaline, the sudden return to normal life feels a little flat.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with feeling that way. If anything, it shows how much the experience meant to you.
You’ve put time, effort and emotion into something, and it’s natural to feel a little lost when it comes to an end.
I suppose the trick is to enjoy the memories, allow yourself to miss it a little and remember that there will be other opportunities to get involved in something new.
Although I suspect the post show blues are just part of the deal!
It’s reminded me that it’s never too late to start again
Perhaps one of the biggest things I’ve taken from returning to am dram is the reminder that you can go back to things you loved when you were younger.
You don’t have to have carried on doing something your entire life for it to still be part of who you are. You don’t have to be at the same level you were before, or even know exactly what you’re getting yourself into.
Sometimes you can just give it another go and see what happens.
Going back at 31 showed me that I didn’t have to leave that part of myself behind just because I’d got older or because life had moved on.
I could make room for it again.
And I’m so glad I did.
There’s something lovely about discovering that a part of you is still there, waiting for the right moment to come back into your life. It might look a little different this time around, but that doesn’t make it any less special.
If there’s something you used to love doing but haven’t done in years, perhaps it’s worth asking yourself whether you might enjoy giving it another go.
You never know what it could bring into your life.
So, what has musical theatre really done for me?
Looking back, I think it’s given me far more than I expected when I first decided to get involved again.
It’s given me confidence, new experiences, a creative outlet and moments of genuine pride. It’s given me something to work towards and something to look forward to. It’s reminded me that I can challenge myself, learn new things and still make time for the things that make me happy.
It’s also given me those slightly ridiculous, wonderfully memorable experiences that come with being part of amateur theatre. The rehearsals, the performances, the laughter and the inevitable sadness when it all comes to an end.
But more than anything, it’s reminded me how important it is to have something in your life that you genuinely love.
Coming back to musical theatre at 31 has been a really lovely reminder that you don’t have to give up the things that make you feel like yourself. Sometimes life gets in the way, and sometimes you need a break, but that doesn’t mean those things can’t find their way back to you.
I started out doing am dram as a teenager, found my way back through Made in Dagenham, and have since had the chance to take on a role like Lucy in Avenue Q that I’m genuinely proud of.
And if there’s one thing I’d take from all of that, it’s this: don’t underestimate the things you do simply because you love them.
They might end up giving you far more than you ever expected.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I might just start wondering what the next show could be. Because if there’s one thing the post show blues have taught me, it’s that the end of one production doesn’t necessarily mean you’re ready to hang up your theatre shoes just yet!
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