It’s one of those posts again… oh Violet. If you read my blog for killer fashion content, travel adventures or even food reviews then this may not be the post for you. However, there are a handful of you who have commented and stated how much you love my content on Honest Parenting. So here’s one for you chucks. After a heck of a week of teething (I’ll go into this more later…) here’s a post on some of the hardest things about being a Mother.
Now in no way do I want pity. I cherish this gift, it’s a blessing and full disclosure, I love being a mum. However, there are some things that come with parenting (as I’m learning) that make this one of the most difficult journeys I’ve ever been on.
Pain
The absolute worst thing for me so far is not being able to help when your little one is in pain. If you follow me on instagram you may have seen my absolute melt downs the other week. After a full week of teething pain, waking every hour, complete temperature fluctuations and a very very grumpy toddler I basically shattered. I felt so much sadness and anger that I couldn’t do anything to take any of the pain away. Whilst my logical self was saying ‘it’s only teething… it’ll pass’ the emotional side of me was in pieces. I’d visited the docs, tried several medicines and felt frustrated that it was going on so long and that it seemed so horrible. Worst of all, Jasper’s at a stage where he can’t communicate fully so it’s not like I could explain to him what was happening. One of the worst things is feeling utterly helpless.
Doubting Yourself
This happens more than I’d like. As with the above, I doubted that I was doing everything I could for him. I questioned my ability to understand how to help him and emotionally punished myself for not being good enough. I do this more than I’d like. I know deep down that I would do absolutely anything for this boy, heck! I’d give him my life, but if I go out with friends, book a trip without him or relish in a full night’s sleep whilst he’s at grandparents I sometimes doubt that I’m good enough. It’s not a good quality and I’m going to put this right.
Rarely Clocking Off
Got the flu? Still have to change nappies and play games. Hungover? Still have to sort meals, changes and sensory ideas. At work? Still have to ensure the changing bag is sorted, snacks are packed and spare clothes are folded semi-neatly). Even if Jasper isn’t with me I find myself running through a list in my head and texting the babysitter (usually my mum – thank you) – has he had a bath? Has he drank his milk? Has he eaten his tea? Did you apply that cream? Do you have his scratch mittens… it goes on and on but you get the point.
Learning to Switch off your Emotions
There have been moments recently, where my now toddler decides to have a tantrum. There will be little-no reason behind it and once it starts it can’t be stopped. When these first happened I didn’t know what to do. I’d get teary if I was in public and felt and out of control, I’d get frustrated if we were mid building block and he destroyed my very tall skyscraper and sometimes I’d laugh it off then shamefully wonder why. I’ve recently started filing that emotional side away when this happens. Providing Jasper is in no pain, he’s clean, fed and watered then I know it’s nothing serious. It’s easier to flip a switch in my head and play it very cool.
Watching them Grow
The best and worst. I absolutely LOVE watching Jasper develop new skills and become the cheeky little boy he’s turning into. He’s in a super cuddly stage at the moment and constantly causing giggles within our family. It’s an absolute blessing, but I’m sure at some point I’m gonna have a moody teenager who won’t want to give me a hug. Please stay my lil’ angel boy!
This is one of the best journeys I’ve undertaken, but boy is it good to talk about the hard bits too! What do you think the hardest part is?
Violet x
I’m 17 weeks pregnant with my first and I’m already feeling some of these! So far for me the hardest thing has been dealing with judgement from other Mums who all seem to think they’re experts and constantly want to point out things they think you’re doing wrong – I made an innocent joke on Facebook the other day about not being able to have a drink until baby is born and suddenly people I thought were friends appeared to take that to mean I was going to get trashed and started warning me about breastfeeding and taking care of a child whilst hungover! I’m quite thick skinned but I have to admit it stung a bit – I’m an adult and not an idiot so of course I wouldn’t get drunk while caring for my child! I guess it’s only likely to get worse once the baby is here too, but luckily I have a lot of wonderful, grounded and non judgy Mum friends to help me through. I also hate that people always seem to want to tell you how rubbish your life is going to be now that you’ve decided to have kids. I mean, yes, it will be hard and sometimes horrid, but it’s also pretty freakin’ wonderful and fulfilling! Stop trying to rain on my parade dammit!
Crikey sounds like you’re getting some backlash! Honestly, it’s the most rewarding and wonderful thing. I adore being Jasper’s mum, but there are of course difficulties that come with it (usually worse when sleep deprived!) You’ll be wonderful, trust your own instinct and try to block out the noise. I received backlash for wanting to formula feed, but it really doesn’t bother me anymore. Long as our children are healthy and happy, we should all be pleased! x