Dear Jasper,
I thought I’d write you a letter, that perhaps you’re a little too young to understand. You see, the world is going through some very challenging times right now and you are completely unaware of. It’s truly a blessing. Having you wake every morning eager to get on with a game or do some painting actually gets me through a lot. I may moan that my hips are hurting, my back is sore and that you don’t understand that mummy is pregnant and can’t quite keep up but the truth is… If I didn’t have you I don’t know what I’d be doing right now. You bring a bit of joy into my Monday gloom.
You make me laugh, you make me cry. You make me so tired I feel emotionally exhausted as well as physically at the end of a day and want to curl up in your toddler bed with you. You pinch my food, sip my drinks and are ALWAYS so quick to get on my spot on the sofa if I move, but I adore you for it.
Some part of me has thought about how if I didn’t have you I’d have time for solo baths, more work, more creativity and wonders if I’d relish in this or feel alone. Ultimately I know I’d feel the latter. I love having you push your way into my space and remind me that I am not on my bill, but serve a bit role in your life (even if sometimes I feel a servant).
Very soon things are going to change. With each week that passes, your sisters arrival gets closer. I wonder how you’ll be as a brother. You seem very attached to my stomach as you kiss and hug it each morning and wish baby a good day. I imagine things will be a little different when she’s here but I do hope you’ll love having a sibling to play with. I’m nervous to go through everything again, and you help me remember that I can do this and that the rewards are great.
I hope one day you read this letter and understand that you kept me going. You were my little beacon of light. We can do this Jaz.
Violet x
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