Welcome to today’s think piece. When I was 24 I gave birth to my first child, Jasper. I looked around me and my friends were off seeking great adventures here, there and everywhere. I wanted to have a child and start my family whilst I felt energetic enough to do so but was it all a bit soon? I had a few friends say ‘Oh when you have children your life ends’, ‘say goodbye to holidays’ and ‘you can forget about going to the toilet on your own ever again’. You know, all the super cheery things someone wants to hear when considering starting a family.
The reality was, I was 24 and my husband 25, we’d both stated we wanted to be younger parents, and we both had agreed on two children. If we were fortunate and we’d fall pregnant easily then we would be well underway before I hit a quarter life crisis. I looked around me though, and no friends had children. I couldn’t name any of my close school friends, or college or University for that matter that had them. My sisters didn’t have children at the time and I was just a teeny bit conscious that I’d be the first. Joe & I however, talked it over and over and had weighed up all of the positives of having children (and at our age) and decided to take the plunge. We fell pregnant fairly quickly and soon enough Jasper was born in the November before my 25th birthday. Fast forward almost 3 years and you’ll know I’ve just had my daughter Goldie.
So, does your life end when you have children? Does having children put me off anything? The answer is a little difficult to summarise in one word.
I still travel, in fact, Jasper flew to Canada with us when he was 8 months old. Having children hasn’t put me off travelling, but it has made me more conscious of destinations, flight times, solo travelling with them etc. I don’t think it would necessarily be easy to do a flight with the children on my own (but it absolutely would be possible if you wanted to).
We still have a romantic relationship. I’m sure you’ll have heard it somewhere that some idiot once said that a mother loses her sex appeal once the baby is born. I’m not entirely sure where this absolutely ridiculous idea came from but it simply isn’t true. Sure you’ll be more tired some days. Some days you’ll have spent a day acting as a human trampoline so the last thing you want is for someone else to bounce on you. Other days, you will embrace that body, feel pretty darn incredible that you’ve survived another day bringing up children and be like HELL YEAH I’m amazing. Introducing date nights for just us two has been a great idea for allowing us time without the children (though we do talk about them a lot when away from them).
My business is still going strong. Who says you can’t have a career and children? Again another myth. I run my own business and it’s actually doing pretty darn great. It gives me my own time to explore my passion and skills and sometimes I even include my children. Do not think because you have children you can’t still be a successful career orientated person. Things may change slightly, and you may have to set off in time for nursery pick up/school runs but it’s all good. You can be you.
Just some thoughts I had on this topic after a recent conversation. What do you think about having children?
Violet x
Absolutely loved this blog post and thanks so much for sharing. I would love to have children and hopefully it happens for us in the next few years but I did have some worries, basically everything you have talked about in this blog post. I definitely can’t wait to be a Mum and to start a little family xxx